Surviving

Feeling the warmth of the sun on a cloudy day. A glimpse into a blind billy goat's unique, ever changing perspectives.

2016 11 02 My Toes Nose November 2, 2016

My toes hurt. My arches are broken down. My heels both hurt. My ankles ache. My right shin has dents in it. My left calf is killing me. My right knee locks up and hurts when I go down stairs. My right thigh aches by morning, and my left ass cheek has a permanent dent in it from my wallet. Both of my hips bother me and my back is hopeless. My spine isn’t straight and my left shoulder has one thing wrong with it, unlike my right shoulder that has three. My right elbow locks once in a while and my forearms bother me at night. My wrists are ok, except when they aren’t, and all of my fingers have been broken at least twice. My thumb locks up on my left hand, and my left pinkie hasn’t been straight since 1981. My neck creaks when I turn my head. My left ear always feels clogged, and my right ear always is. My nose has been broken about a dozen times, and my hair has seen better days. Don’t get me started on my eyes, and the scrambled mess that’s inside my head is a story in and of itself.

How am I doing?

How am I really doing? Oh, just fine.
Fine? Really? Fine?
Fine is a four letter word that is nothing more than a cover up. It’s a flagrant foul. It’s a penalty flag deep in the secondary. It’s not what I asked you, and some days it’s all I have to offer.

Oh how a lot of us wish we could have that kiddish outlook that we once possessed. Yes, it’s but a fleeting moment behind us, or so it seems, and yes, it has supplied us with wonderment and splendor amidst everything else that makes up who we are, who we have become and who we used to be.

I long for those days of old when we felt an urge and jumped all over it. Riding a bike, grabbing a basketball, running out through the field, heading back up through the field with a fishing pole in one hand, and a string of fish in the other.

What the hell happened to me? What the hell happened to you? What on earth happened to us?

I saw an old school friend at a local store several years ago. I initially walked right by him, did a double take, and walked back with a smile on my face and a hand reached out for a shake. We talked for a couple minutes ago, and as we reminisced, I felt a little uncomfortable. I kept wanting to ask him why he looked so old. I felt the question on the tip of my tongue, but my better judgment kept my query in check.

What did happen to him? Why did he look so old. The current year put him around 48 years old, but man did he ever look like he was sixty-five to me. I suppose one of the things that kept me from asking him the question was fear of what I looked like myself. With the oncoming gray hair these past twenty years, had I aged as much as he had? I know for sure that some days it felt like it.

By the way, that list of aches and pains at the beginning of this post isn’t real, or is it?

Oh how I wish I had the childish exuberance. I wish I had the hop in a younger step. I wish I had a tank full of energy, and a head full of the wonder of a boy. I suppose some days I still do think like a kid, after all, rarely a day goes by when I don’t pull up a memory or two from my childhood.

I remember a couple weeks ago. My son, grandson, wife and I headed down to the coast to celebrate a birthday. We stopped at Mount View high school in Knox, where there is a large playground. I slowly swung my cane side to side and strolled over to the swings and had a seat while I listened to my son and his son have a go at the yard full of equipment. As I sat and listened, it seemed only a short time ago that I was running after my son while he took in all the magic of a playground. I also remembered how short a time it felt that a young boy ran across a playground in Little Falls. Hands in the air, feet flying over the ground and a heart beating as fast as a heart can beat.

Can you tell what I’m thinking right now? I’ll give you a hint.

It includes some busted toes, a crooked nose and a big smile.

Thanks for stopping by, and have yourself a grand old night.

dp

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7 Responses to “2016 11 02 My Toes Nose”

  1. alice13zoe Says:

    Deon–I feel as if I have been running to keep up with all of your superb descriptions of all stages of life. May your aches and pains be less each day, and may your warm and wonderful memories ever multiply to brighten each present day! I am so glad you had the time to write this post between your study times.

    Take care, and keep writing! Alice and Willow

    • DP Lyons Says:

      Thanks Alice. As I limp my way through a wonderful day, those younger days of old continue to nudge me forward. big grin. May your day be a wonderful one as well. dp

  2. Sue McKendry Says:

    DP–this is my first time responding to your blog. I “met” you through Alice Massa and your comments to her writing. I must respond to this description of the aging process, especially your use of the word “fine” and it being a four-letter word. This is a coincidence–Recently my sister called and asked how I was doing, and I said “fine.” She started laughing and told me she had just read a book by Louise Penny, A Fatal Grace. One of the characters, a poet, had published a book called, “I’m FINE.” Later in the story, we find out that FINE stands for “f—ed up, insecure, neurotic, egotistical. So I did read that book and enjoyed it.

    Good luck with your studies and writing–Sue

    • DP Lyons Says:

      Hi Sue, and thanks for the comment. My sister and I usually joke about the saying of those four letters. grin
      It’s such a cover up saying that we all tend to use on occasion.
      Such a small world we live in, ay? Thanks so much for stopping by.
      dp

  3. Terri Fiorello Says:

    Enjoyed the read Deon and it certainly made me stop and ponder some of our MANY memories of childhood. Love you oodles. Terri

  4. PJ Lumb Says:

    You did it again! Yanked me right into the wormhole that took me with you to some shared, some not, memories of childhood. Sweet, innocent, real, honest. Did some serious soul searching about where I am, how I am, who and what I am. Even counted my aches and pains, ha! Guess what…I’m just FINE!!! Not!!! Your message– no one is just fine. We’re all just doing the best we can. Thanks for your honesty, and waking me up. Please get back to writing more? I want to know how the second book ends! Hugs.


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