A Goat and His Computer
Now then, let’s see. Did the Malware scan finish?
Yes, and detections have been successfully removed.
Is JAWS up to date?
Affirmative, and working amazingly well.
Is iTunes all set?
Yes. The latest update is installed, and synchronization has been acquired.
Are the Flash, Adobe Reader and Windows updates good to go?
I’m fairly certain they are adequate as well.
Well then, I guess that’s just about it, right?
I’m afraid the answer is no.
What do you mean, no?
Are you kidding me?
Do I look like I’m kidding?
You don’t look like anything. I’m a computer, and I can’t see.
What a coincidence! Me too! Really though, why did you say no?
Hello? Are you kidding? Did you just arrive from outer space or something?
Have you updated to JAWS 16 yet?
No, not yet, but I have the cd.
How about Windows 10?
No, that isn’t going to be available until the end of July.
You know you need JAWS 16 to be able to run Windows 10, right?
Yes, I’m fully aware of that.
What else are you aware of?
I’m aware that talking to a computer probably isn’t going to get me anywhere.
So why bother then?
Why bother? Why bother? I have to listen to your screen reader all the time, so why can’t I reply once in a while?
This isn’t Dragon Dictation you know.
Yes, ok, I know.
Don’t worry. I’m not gonna tell anyone, ok?
No problem. Now, go ahead and continue with your post.
Post? You think this is a post?
Well, it doesn’t look like a plank, a beam or a two by four.
Very funny. Were you a comedian in your past life?
My past life?
Yes, your past life.
In my past life, I was just a bunch of mixed up ones and zeroes.
Yup, ‘fraid so.
Man, talk about evolution.
Tell me about it.
You’re the computer. You tell me.
Hahahaha. That was so funny, I almost forgot to reboot.
I’m glad you have such a good sense of humor.
Thank you. I’m glad you learned how to touch type.
Ya, me too, but it was hard to learn.
The wrist cramps, the sore fingers and elbows.
You making fun of me?
Do you really think I’m going to say yes?
What’s the matter? You chicken?
No. I just don’t want you to shut me down.
Doesn’t matter. You’ll still be talking inside my head.
Do you have one of those Bluetooth heads or something?
Now THAT was funny!
I wish I could smile, because I would be.
I’ll just imagine that you are.
Thanks. I appreciate that.
What’s the matter now?
I gotta get going.
Do you have to do the dishes again?
Dish pan hands?
Ya. It’s pitiful.
Soft as a baby’s?
Watch it now!
Sorry. I got carried away.
Ya, I noticed.
I still have to get going.
Ok then. Take care.
I will. You too.