Feeling the warmth of the sun on a cloudy day. A glimpse into a blind billy goat's unique, ever changing perspectives.

2015 06 20 Hate to Admit It June 20, 2015

I hate to admit it, but sometimes I get extremely frustrated with things. I mean, to the point when I’d like to open a window and chuck all of it out onto the front lawn and let Mother Nature have a go at it. I don’t like the feeling when I get in these moods, and some days, no matter how I try, I just can’t seem to shake all the crap out of my head.

Is this human nature? Is this me not being able to let go? Is this something that after nearly 55 years I still need to work on? How is that possible? How come after all this practice I’m not good at certain things like this some days?

I know, I know. Some of you are probably thinking what to write to me right now, trying to think what to say, thinking what golden nugget of experience you could slap down onto the table that would point me in the right direction.

Fact is, I would appreciate the hell out of any response that could find the magic potion, or remedy, or cure. Fact is, even if I had heard that profitable saying that did the trick, it would be like I was hearing it for the first time, even though I might have heard it a thousand times before.

I experienced one of these days just a few days ago. My insides were all bunched up into a tight little knot that would embarrass a boy scout for not being able to untie. From the early morning hours, I could sense that something was adrift and no matter how I tried, I couldn’t quell tide after tide of emotional swells that totally took control of me and drowned the ramparts with that unforgiving seawater that never sleeps as it eats away at whatever it touches.

That was just a few short days ago, and although I managed to find my pillow that night, I lie wide awake and turned over and over again the ravaged emotions that reminded me how human I am, and how much I have no control over.

I write a lot about how there is an opportunity within each hurdle we face. Inside days like those, with the bitter pills that I sometimes swallow are those carefully hidden sweet drops of nectar that keep my needle pointing north.

Now, if I could only remember if I’m supposed to be going north or not.

Thank you all and God bless every one of you. I always pray that I might keep paying it forward. I have received so much through my lifetime, so I’d better get on with it.

Thanks for stopping by and have a great night.



4 Responses to “2015 06 20 Hate to Admit It”

  1. wwannwrites Says:

    I would call that a weak moment, or maybe you panicked, I don’t know. However, I do know that we all have those moments, and your emotional turmoil is only natural.

  2. Glen Foss Says:

    Hi Dion,

    I met a guy on the street in Arlington VA the other day and we started talking about writing. He is a 36 year old Sr. Master Sargent in the Army and he sent me a copy of a paper he wrote that made me think of some of the things you have written. Thought I’d sent it on…


    • DP Lyons Says:

      Hi Glenn. I’d love to be able to read this Master Sergeant’s writings, as I am proud as a peacock of our military. My nephew is a 20 year retired Marine Master Sergeant, and I can’t even begin to tell you how much inspiration I have been given from following his career. God bless and thanks for your comment. dp

  3. I’ve had days like those, too. Of course I’ve been visually impaired all my life. Over the years, I’ve learned to accept my limitation and ask for help without thinking twice. I also realize that it does no good to let frustration get the better of me.

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