Surviving

Feeling the warmth of the sun on a cloudy day. A glimpse into a blind billy goat's unique, ever changing perspectives.

2015 05 06 Essay: And Then… May 6, 2015

And then, all of a sudden, it happened. Appearing straight out of nowhere, I didn’t have a clue where it came from. I wasn’t sure where it was going. I wasn’t sure if I was the intended recipient, or someone in a long line of possibilities. I didn’t have a clue what it was at first. I was as unfamiliar with this, thing, as I had ever been about any, thing.

As it stood there, or sat there, or was just, there, the anomaly didn’t look out of place, or over bearing, or inadequate or provocative or misplaced or borrowed from somewhere else. This, thing, looked completely content on just being, there, which made it even more alluringly intriguing.

I didn’t know what to do. I didn’t know what to say. I didn’t know how to approach it. I didn’t know how to act or think or what to do after I might manage to approach this unfamiliar, thing. All I knew was that whatever it was, I wanted a piece for myself in the worst way.

I grew frustrated that I didn’t know, anxious that I might learn, frightened that I might be making a mistake, apprehensive due to my previous masters of misguided monstrosities, and perhaps excited that I might be stumbling upon the greatest invention since sliced bread. It was only one thing, but oh what a pleasingly simple thing it appeared to be.

As I circled around this, thing, it never took its eyes off me. It seemed to be looking straight at me, and at the same time, straight through me as if it were looking at a bigger picture, or perhaps trying to convince me that it wanted to be part of this particular day, along with the next day, and the next day, and the day after that. How amazing this was to me, as it seemed to be more comfortable with my days to come than I was. As hard as I tried to keep the moment in today, in this day, a force from deep inside me whispered to my sub conscience that it was ok to think ahead, if only for a moment. It nudged me with an assurance that dreaming was an acceptable part of who we are, that dreaming takes hold of us all, that wishing and hoping can easily turn into being and experiencing.

Circling around one more time, a smile crept across my face, and as a chuckle rolled out from deep within my soul, a calm, peaceful rush crept up from the tip of my toes, to the end of my nose. I felt at home with this, thing, and as I completed another circling maneuver, I swore I saw the thing wink at me.

What is it? Where did it come from? Where is it going? What am I supposed to do with this, thing?

Hmm?

Advertisements
 

2 Responses to “2015 05 06 Essay: And Then…”

  1. Gail Johnson Says:

    Hi Deon,
    Thanks for sharing.
    Hope and dreaming are wonderful. When a quality or something grabs you it makes you follow and learn something new about yourself.
    Love it!
    Take care of yourself and hope all is well with your family.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s