Feeling the warmth of the sun on a cloudy day. A glimpse into a blind billy goat's unique, ever changing perspectives.

2015 03 20 O & P March 20, 2015

A lot has been written through the years about the winter months and what a toll they can take from, or add to the human spirit. From different points of view come different perspectives that look at the glass as being half empty, or half full. I can tell you first hand that my own perspectives have changed over the years. I’m not sure if this had anything to do with having to shovel the driveway a thousand times or not, but however I look at it, I know that I have changed how I look at it.

I was talking with a dear friend of mine the other day, and we joked about being a pessimist or an optimist. She is a very busy individual, and found herself up against a workload full of deadlines that left her with less time than what the work demand called for. Her mood was sort of low, and although I tried to lighten up the moment with my usual brain dead attempts at humor, I could really tell that she was frustrated and most of all, tired. I then pondered on my own situation and came to the realization that whatever I had been frustrated with on that particular day was hugely insignificant to the overall picture of the day, of my day.

In this crazy, mixed up, shook up, tumbled up world that spins around underneath us, it’s all too easy to look either too far ahead, or further on back the road. The biggest issue with whatever it is that I don’t know what I’m trying to say is that far too many days, we completely forget what it is we are doing right here, right now. We worry about what’s around the next corner more than we worry how we’re actually getting to the corner. We set up our up to the minute calendars, our reminder apps, our digital alerts and end up finger tapping or three finger swiping our day away. Before we know what hit us, the day is gone and the hours have drifted into the past. Where’d it go? What did we miss? Why didn’t someone tell us? Fact is, they probably did, but we weren’t listening.

The older you get, the faster the time goes. Is that really what happens? Is it a mind game that Father Time plays on us?

Do you think I have an answer for that one?

Optimism and pessimism are an either, or an or. Either you do this one, or you lean towards that one. Sometimes, just maybe, you do both of them and get away with it.

I, myself, tend to think that I fall under the pessimism category. My cup is half empty. Oh, it may look half full, and I might even tell myself that it’s half full, but while I hold it in my hands, without even thinking about it, I’m thinking that I already drank half of it and there’s only half of a glass left. I know that this has been a stumbling block throughout many events in my life, but I have always found a way to work towards the finish line. One thing that bothers me now as I write this is that being a pessimist has sometimes robbed me of being able to fully enjoy things in my life. While I might have been holding a trophy in my hand, I was probably already thinking how on earth I would be able to win the same thing next time. So much worrying and fretting and contemplating, and nowhere near enough relaxing and relishing the amazement of the moment. God knows I have had many things in my life to celebrate, and there will probably be a few more.

I’ve been hurdled towards a few roadblocks and obstacles these past few years. Wait. Let me rephrase that.

I’ve had quite a few trying times in my life, and these past few years have piled more onto the, umm, well, I suppose you could call it the pile of trying times. I have been blessed with a huge amount of support, encouragement, devotion and “don’t you dare stop now’s”. I have come through these shadowed bits of my life and found strength to move towards the next set of moments with what I can only describe as optimism. How on earth would I ever find the strength to keep moving forward if I didn’t have some faith that I would continue to find those moments in my life that were enjoyable and worthwhile? How would anyone dare to go forward if they didn’t believe that some goodness was heading their way? Without optimism, how on earth would the human heart ever keep beating?

With the promise of another sunrise tomorrow morning, it’s with optimism and a full heart that I look towards my future with that “o” word. I do so, not forgetting where I am and how I got here. I do so realizing exactly where I am and what’s around me. Well, maybe not exactly, but it’s the attempt that counts, right? Right? With all my bruises, jammed fingers, busted toes and lumps on my empty noggin, how could I possibly not.

It sure has been a long, cold, snowy winter, and here in the wonderfully frozen state of Maine, it seems like we’re still smack dab in the middle of it. Not the beginning, not the end, exactly right in the middle of it.

I’ve always had a habit of picturing the whole year as a clock. Hi noon is January, 5 o’clock is June and the start of summer, and fall starts around 8 o’clock. I know, I know. I’m off by an hour or two, but then again, it’s my clock, right?

Happy Spring to you all, and thanks for stopping by!


3 Responses to “2015 03 20 O & P”

  1. Missy Says:

    I love you. Seeing your face or hearing your voice has always brought my heart great joy, you are my ray of sunshine year round. Sending big hugs and kisses


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