Surviving

Feeling the warmth of the sun on a cloudy day. A glimpse into a blind billy goat's unique, ever changing perspectives.

10 24 2014 Four Times Twice October 24, 2014

Four Times Twice

It’s a good thing I’m taking a math class. That way, I can determine how many weeks I have been in school so far. Now then, let’s see. Four, times twice, well, that should be like, umm, double up on the four? Right? Which should be, umm, oh I don’t know, err, 8?

Ding, ding, ding! Tell him what he’s won Johnny!

It’s a brand new week of school! Yes, that’s right. I’ve won me another week on campus, full of people who want to learn just as much as me!

Eight weeks of school. Eight weeks of college behind me. Eight weeks of campus achievement that I never have to give back. Eight weeks, and it’s all mine.

Almost two whole months of higher education, surrounded by other people who want to help me get smarter. Fifty six days of mind bending aerobics, dipped in savory curricular sauce, and smothered onto the most intriguing tasting tid bit my world has ever seen. Give me a napkin and show me where the bowl of dipping sauce is, because I’m hungry!

I guess I always had a passion for learning. I remember when I was a little tyke back in Little Falls grade school. I had three friends in my class, all boys of course, and we were all constantly going at each other, trying to outsolve, out learn, out test each other. It was like our own private competition, and we were good at it. I got straight A’s up till junior high school. It’s something that I always did, and it didn’t seem like it was really that hard. Well, I guess it didn’t seem hard because I concentrated and applied myself to the level that I was capable of doing.

Time sure has a way of changing some things though, and sometimes it’s not for the best.

I’m not sure what happened to me, other than to tell you that outside influences seemed to latch onto me and yank me sideways, and I found myself not caring, not wanting, not understanding how important a good, well earned education was, or should be, or could have been. I got caught up in a world of influence and peer pressure and it wasn’t too long before I completely lost my drive, my passion and my urge to gain knowledge.

I started hanging around the wrong crowd, and even though it felt like the right thing to do, it led me down the wrong path that wound up convincing myself that dropping out of school was the proper thing to do.

There’s no doubt that drugs and alcohol were at the top of the list of things that persuaded me of stopping my creativity, ending my intuition, putting a halt to gaining every single day. Drugs and alcohol stripped me of so many things that I had been taking for granted, and it wasn’t long before a different young man was looking back from the mirror.

Needless to say, a spiraling trend downward left me dropping out of school my senior year, I guess so that I could go to work full time and make more money. More money to me meant only one thing. More Money to Party!

I don’t really need to go into the details. I imagine most of you can muster up a pretty good idea of what I’m talking about.

So much wasted time. So much wasted effort. So much for continued education. I never really thought of myself as someone who would ever go to college. Perhaps that’s why this seems so unbelievable to me. Perhaps that’s why I feel quite determined to prove my old way of thinking wrong. Perhaps I feel I have something to prove to myself. Perhaps.

We live our lives as we see fit. We go through the motions at times, unaware of any other motions that could, or should come into play. We live and learn, but there’s always room for improvement. What we don’t know, we have never known, or knew and forgot, or just thought they must have been talking about someone else. Whatever it is, for whatever reason, taking that initial step sometimes proves to be the hardest thing about the learning process. After that, it’s amazing how our instincts sometimes have a habit of taking over and having their way with this learning thing.

There’s quite a lot I don’t know. There’s quite a lot that I’d like to know. There’s a lot of time that I’ll never get back. There’s only so much time ahead of me.

There’s no time like the present. Right?

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4 Responses to “10 24 2014 Four Times Twice”

  1. Missy Burke Says:

    This feels not finished to me….is there going to be a part two? I hate to be left dangling in suspense!

    • DP Lyons Says:

      Well I guess you might just have to wait and see what the old billy goat comes up with next. Eight weeks down, and a few more to go. grin Sorry if I left you hanging. It wasn’t my intention, but since you indeed are hanging, I’ll try to post the next one as quick as I can get my hands to muster one up. I did just finish week nine of college, so the blog is most definitely due. xo

  2. carollyons2014 Says:

    WE ALWAYS GET IT! ALWAYS. SOME LATER THAN OTHERS BUT YOU GOT IT IN TIME TO MAKE THE DIFFERENCE AND WHAT YOU LOST TRUE IS GONE BUT THAT GIVES YOU MORE ROOM IN THE OLD NOGGIN TO PUT MORE GOOD GROWN UP STUFF IN THERE. THINK OF ALL THE WONDERFUL THINGS GOD HAS GIVEN YOU. THE LOSS OF YOU SIGHT WAS A TRAGIC EVENT BUT THROUGH HIS WISDOM HE IS LEADING YOU IN AN AWESOME DIRECTION THAT IS REACHING SO MANY PEOPLE.. GOD LOVES YOU AND SO DO WE!!!

  3. PJ Says:

    Right. Never too late. Proud of you!


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