Surviving

Feeling the warmth of the sun on a cloudy day. A glimpse into a blind billy goat's unique, ever changing perspectives.

2014 04 04 When I Woke Up April 4, 2014

When I woke up this morning, I was blind. When I laid my head down on my pillow last night, I was blind. Chances are pretty good that when I finally drift off tonight, I’ll be blind. I can still see a pinch of light sneaking in through the kitchen window, a smidgen of glimmer shyly cascading off of the 63 year old chrome trim on the counter top near the sink, a faint dabble of movement of the cats as they herd around the water bowl in the garage, waiting for their treats, but there’s not a lot I can do with it, except to remember how things used to be.

I can still see the colors of the day, the sparkle of the water, the growing glow of the eastern horizon in the morning, but I see them in my mind, and I’m here to tell you, my mind just never stops. Poor thing. I imagine after all of these years have piled up, after all of the wrenches I unknowingly, but continuously kept throwing into the mixing bowl, after my battered, on board calculator had added everything up and carried the three, it probably thought things were winding down and that maybe, just maybe, it would be able to take a break once in a while.

Ha! Fooled ya! (billy goat grin)

Sorry for the inconvenience old boy, but your work here is no way near done. In fact, I gots me a noteworthy notion that we’re probably just getting started. You see, I’ve always been a paralleller of tangents, a ponderer of perception, a kid wondrously stuck in a daydream, and even with all of those wanderous tales my mind had been on, I don’t think it would have ever dreamed that it was preparing itself for the ultimate adventure.

The adventure is here, the adventure is today, the adventure is happening, right now, and I didn’t even have to make reservations or purchase air fare. First class accommodations don’t cost any more than if I bought a ticket to ride in the cargo hold. It’s all mine, and it’s absolutely free. Well, monetarily speaking. I suppose I’ll be paying with other forms of currency, like humility, self consciousness and doubt. I’ve paid with those before though, and I always had plenty left over after the dust would settled down. Oh my oh my oh my mind is a tired mechanism some days. Tired and confused and depleted of normal function, but it always finds a way to think it through. It always finds a path to take, a door to open, a left shoe to go along with a right. It always maneuvers through the turns, although sometimes not taking that left at Albuquerque when it knows perfectly well that we should have.

With all of the constant reassurances and positive input from family and friends, it always finds a way to let me know that whatever’s going on, everything’s going to be ok, if you just let it be.

I looked up at the pc monitor just now, and I remembered that I’m blind. I know what’s on the screen though, because it wrote itself across the monitor in my mind. Letter by letter, word by word, it’s all there in black and white, Ariel Round Bold Black, font size 14. I gotta find a way to get rid of this Times New Roman default font. Hello? Google? A little tutorial help, if you please?

And here we go again, against the grain, up stream, into the wind without a windbreaker.

Wow, that was weird. I thought I just saw something out of the corner of my mind. Did you think it too?

Maybe if I concentrate really, really hard, I’ll think I see it again?

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3 Responses to “2014 04 04 When I Woke Up”

  1. addisonbyrne Says:

    What a stunning and real poem! Will definitely be continuing to follow! I don’t know if you accept these, but I have nominated you and your blog….http://addisonswavesofgreen.wordpress.com/2014/04/05/i-won-twice-liebster-award-2014-blog-ii/


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