It’s hard sometimes to have to ask for help. It’s humbling to admit to yourself that you can’t do it all by yourself. It’s ground leveling to see so many things come across your path that you can’t seem to latch on to anymore.
It’s also freaking incredible though, to know that no matter where you turn for help, there are folks that grab you by the hand and help you meet the challenges. It’s a growing light across the horizon of a never ending stormy night. It’s a circling, mirrored light from a familiar lighthouse, calling out across the waves on a foggy morning along a rocky coast. It’s a comforting voice from a long lost friend on the other end of the phone. It’s so many different emotions, swirling around inside an ever changing swell of doubt, anxiety and fear.
It’s what I have been faced with quite a few times in my life, and quite a few more these past four years. It’s absolutely free, but yet, at the same time, it’s priceless.
I was knocked to my knees in 2010. My world came to a screeching halt. My loves, my passions, all my take it for granted’s and every part of my complacent carefree curriculum pulled up along side me, smiled, winked, and then quickly took a sharp left. I wasn’t anywhere near Albuquerque either.
I didn’t see the detour signs. I didn’t see the big black curved arrow on the yellow sign. I didn’t have a road map, and I sure as hell didn’t have a GPS. It was just me, myself and I, until that is, I realized I needed some help. And boy, did I ever get some.
The thing that used to gnaw at me the most was the fear of being turned down when I asked for help. I was so damn fearful of having someone say, “No”. Such a humiliating experience would surely kill me, from the inside, out.
Fact is, every time I have gotten past my humiliation and gained the courage to ask for help, I have been met with warm voices, gracious hearts and welcoming arms that wrap around me and hug me tight.
Can you tell I’m grateful? Can you hear it in my voice? Can you read it in my text? I am running out of ways to say thank you. I am overwhelmed time and time again by the generosity of so many. I am having a hard time figuring out who my family is, and who my friends are. It’s a fine line between the two these days, and it’s growing more and more thin as I type.
If I ever live long enough to begin to pay it forward, then I am blessed. Whatever I am able to do to brighten someone’s day, I am blessed. However I may help to turn a tear into a smile, then my life surely is worth living.
I have so much to be thankful for, and so many ways to turn to find the love and hope and joys that are out there, everywhere.
Please, if you ever find yourself at the end of your rope, at the bottom of the well, at the edge of the cliff, always remember, and never forget, just ask for help. You’ll be amazed at some of the different directions it comes rushing at you.
I hope I get to see enough sunrises to work at giving back some of this amazing medicine.
How long do billy goats live anyways?