Surviving

Feeling the warmth of the sun on a cloudy day. A glimpse into a blind billy goat's unique, ever changing perspectives.

2013 04 10 And There It Waas, Gone… April 10, 2013

Filed under: Uncategorized — DP Lyons @ 2:24 pm

Here I go again. Back at it, like there’s no tomorrow. Back at the old grind. Seems like I’ve been here before. Déjà vu.

 

Isn’t it funny, and comfortable, how many times we find ourselves in similar situations, familiar places, comfortable surroundings, all with a sense of belonging? I’d like to have a nickel for every time I have had a snap of déjà vu that spun me around as it was happening. It’s like everything inside all those different three or four second spans of time were known about, gone through before, already acted upon, and vaguely familiar, right in tune with every little detail of the surroundings at that moment in time.

 

How does that happen, and how come sometimes what I am thinking or saying comes simultaneously out of the radio or television? How in this world do things like that take place? Is it parallel tangents, glitching across one another or something? Is it all written in the stars that all of these cosmic occurrences come rapidly twirling towards us at the speed of hello?

 

I know one thing, I thoroughly enjoy the experiences every single time they happen. It is electrifyingly stimulating, firing all of my rusty nerve endings and rarely used cylinders , while forever propelling me towards whatever is coming along next. I’m not sure what is coming next, but there’s only one way to find out, right? You have to pull up your pants, grab your hat, and live it. Like my sister PJ says, “Stop. Breathe. This is it.” Pretty simple instructions, but with so many different and ever altering results. I suppose that’s a good thing. Don’t want to get bored now, do we? Let’s change it up some and see what happens, after all, I think most of us have paid the fare to jump on this ride.

 

Time sure does have a way of stirring things up. Time sure does seem to know what it’s doing. Time sure does seem to be on your side one minute, and then laughing at you, hysterically, the next. Devilishly sly little tick tocker, always changing things up. Is that in the manual somewhere? I think I need a manual for the manual, or a close facsimile there of.

 

Can you imagine if you had the complete layout of your whole life, right there, in front of you for reference? What would be the point of hanging around then? Why would most of us want to ride out the wave, when a full description of what lies just ahead of the reef is right there in front of us, warning us and praising us and shaking a finger at us for things that have yet to be, but will soon be? I mean, I would probably feel like the donkey in Pooh Ville, continuously muttering, “Oh bother, why bother?” under my pessimistic donkey breath.

 

All of the things that haven’t happened yet, before you know it, they all quickly happen, until the happening has already happened, and your chugging along, towards the next string of unhappened instances.

 

Did you follow that last bit? If you did, could you go back and look for me, because I got lost along the way. It happened to be that I happened to get a little sidetracked there, so, I apologize, once again.

 

No matter where you go, there you are. No matter what you are doing, it will be history in a second or two. No matter what lies just up ahead, you have to create things that used to be in order to find out what will be. It’s just the way it works, and there ain’t a thing you can do about it, except get on with it.

 

If we could watch a movie documentary of our day’s events, it would probably shock us at how much time we spend contemplating on what might be, or hasn’t been, or may have been. It would probably shock us at just how little time we spend thinking about the exact moment when things are. It would shock me probably to see how much traveling I do to the past, then up ahead to the future, then a quick reverse back to when and then again, even though it’s really the right here and the right now that plays such an important role in the grand old scheme of it all.

 

Think of it, all the wondering and pondering and wishing and hoping. Mix that in with all the regretting, the feelings of being ashamed, the sorrow, the wonderful gracious gratefulness, it’s all surrounding the here and the now. Without what is, what might be or what was would be nothing at all. It wouldn’t be going to happen, and it surely wouldn’t have just been.

 

My mind has always loved to wander up ahead, and it has always affectionately been fond of skimming over recollections of the past. Right in tune, and usually, right on time. One good way that I sometimes snapped back into the present was to look down at my feet while I was walking towards the future. One foot in front of the other always reminded me that I was, right there and then, creating my past as I stepped into my future. Watching a jet fly overhead, listening to the hissing spin of a fastball as I clutched tightly to my bat, riding my ten speed, no hands, down to the traffic circle in Derry, looking into my grandson’s eyes, it was all meant to be, and it was all mine, right there, right then, for me to see, hear, feel, taste, touch, and be.

 

Take a look around you. Do you see it? It’s a thin slice of the present, right there, in front of you, and you can do with it whatever you want. It’s all up to you, but remember, It ain’t gonna last long, and before you know it, it’s going to be reminding you of something that hasn’t happened yet, and I’m afraid you won’t even see the next slice coming.

 

Oh how I love déjà vu’s. They make you feel just like you know exactly what’s around the next slice of the not yets.

Advertisements
 

4 Responses to “2013 04 10 And There It Waas, Gone…”

  1. Paula Says:

    Big D: This was and amazing, lovely winding walk around time and space into the present and the not yet’s. Cool ride, I might add. You may not have physical vision through your eye, but, by God, you have spiritual vision far more advanced than most. And don’t you forget it! Always good to read your blogs. One never knows what’s coming around our next written corner. I’m always waiting…..pj

  2. alice13zoe Says:

    Dear “Author of SULLY STREET”–This thoughtful and inspirational post is an excellent essay for daily reading. You certainly have developed your own style of writing. I could recognize your writing in a stack of essays. How wonderful of you to have crafted your own signature style! Best wishes as you ride the happy “Book-mobile”! Alice


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s