Welcome To Wherever You Are.
2012 10 18
I wish I didn’t know now, what I didn’t know then.
The old Bob Segar song rings true every once in a while, doesn’t it? For me, things just seemed much simpler when I was a young lad. The times were different, this is true, but with the times, there was such an innocence that came with it. It was just hard to overlook. It was just something that was, and so much of it was taken for granted me thinks.
Everything today, at times, seems so complicated and crowded. Everything seems in a hurry, rushed around, and pushed through. It all just seems to not be able to sit back and relax. None of it. It’s all an electronic, digital mix of massed craziness these days, blended in with alarms, timers, reminders and deadlines.
Please! Everyone! Take a break, will ya?
I guess I have to admit that in these past two years, my life style certainly has calmed down some, with regards to how it used to be when I was pounding the road, trying to make a living. Back then, from the time I woke up in the morning, I was thinking about my next move. I was already living the next breath, not even taking the time to try and remember the last one. It just came and went. And with everything else along with it, there I was, half way to the next one. I was always in a hurry, or sensibly early, or fashionably late. Huh? Me? Fashionably late? Ha! The last time I was fashionable was the day I was born. I am the farthest thing from fashionable that you will ever see, trust me. It isn’t every day that someone as unfashionable as me gets the privilege of trying to blend in. I rarely blended in with anything, I mean, really? Me? Blend? I hardly think so.
So, here we are, on time, late, early, somewhere else other than where we are supposed to be. It’s all supposed to work itself out, and if it doesn’t, well then, welcome to wherever you are.
Was that the name of a Pink Floyd song or an album or something? Hmmm.
I hated being in a hurry all the time. I hated having to be over there at this time, or back here at that time. The tickers on the clock just seemed to move too fast some days. Before I knew it, I was lying my head back down on my pillow, trying to soak up some of what just happened during the day. It was, at times, just a blurried blend of big, blinding bursts of blitzing brackets bulging with beautifully binding, booming banjos banging out boxes full of brilliant stuff that begins with the letter ‘B’. Phew. I was getting a brain cramp thinking of things that start with the letter ‘B’. Did I lose a few of you during that onslaught of abnormal brain function? Sorry for that.
Here we go again.
Where was I?
Oh ya, I remember.
I remember when my son was born. I was thinking how long it would be before he was grown and out on his own. It seemed like it would never happen. Another thing that seemed like it would never happen, and that is when I was young myself, and I never thought I would grow up to be an adult. Well, I am here to say that I have grown up, most of me anyway, and so has my son, who just turned thirty. Holy crapola! What happened? Where in heck did it all go? Did I “Hurry” it all away? Did I “Running late” it and never stop to put a dab of it in my pocket? Did I “sorry, I don’t have time” it into a zip loc freezer bag and stuff it into the bottom drawer of the upright freezer? Why didn’t someone tell me what I was doing? How could you be so inconsiderate? Couldn’t you see what was happening?
I don’t seem to worry about deadlines and time restraints any more. I don’t blur my way through the kitchen in the morning, making my bologna, swiss and mayo sandwiches any more. I don’t see how fast I can go from Pittsfield to Bangor any more. I don’t fret about all of the stuff that I used to fret about any more. Well, mostly none of it anyways. It’s a wonder I was ever able to accomplish anything at all, with all of the stuff I was trying to accomplish. How was I ever able to make time to do anything, when I never had the time to do anything? What on earth was I thinking? How could I ever get anything done, when every time I turned around I was trying to do something else? It’s a wonder I ever got anything done at all!
You know what? The best thing I liked to do, the most enjoyment I ever got from anything, some of the best times I ever had was when I was doing absolutely nothing.
Only problem is though, I didn’t get much done.