Oh, what are these? Irises? Are they blue? No? Purple? I bet they’re as pretty as you? Ya, right. I bet they’re almost as pretty as you though.
Man, there’s a lot of grass growing up around them. Who put the ground so far away? very funny.
Ok then, time to scooch down and, Man, the lawn feels cool and wet on my knees. Umm, how in heck am I gonna get back up? Man, I hate getting old and senile.
Ok then. One clump of grass here, one clump of grass there, and a couple of tra-la-la’s. That’s how we spend our time away, in the merry old land of, umm, weeds! Stupid weeds.
There. You can see the irises a lot better now, can’t you?
What? More irises? More weeds? Let me at em! Ok then. Around the hydrangeas. Careful now, and, there you guys are. These ones are blue? No? Purple , just like the other ones? Very cool.
Ok then, scooch down and, stupid weeds. Stupid grass clumps. The dirt does feel good at my finger tips though. I always did like digging in the dirt. Peter Gabriel. lol. Focus now. Ok then.
There ya go, another patch of clump free irises! Man, I can’t believe how much this cluster has spread. There must be around six huge clusters of these pretty little ladies, and all from one small bucket full that I dug up from the side of the road about fifteen years ago. Who’d a thunk? Who knew? Such an amazingly beautiful flower. I can still see just how pretty you are. Some things you just never forget.
Ok then, moving back to the right and my blue hydrangeas. Hello you guys. One little, two little, three little bushies. I wonder why the one on the corner has grown faster than the other two. Such amazing flowers. Clusters the size of cantaloupes, and blue as blue can be. I might have to spread some pine needles down around you guys again this fall.
Stupid grass clumps, and what are these moronic weeds that creep and crawl along the edges of the lawn? I hate these stupid things.
There, three perfectly happy and content hydrangea bushes. I should snap off last years stalks. They’re all dead anyways. Holy crap, there’s a lot of them. there.
Ok then, moving over past the first iris patch, and what do we have here? More grass clumps? How lovely. How inconveniently lovely. I’ll just reach in behind, along the rock wall, and OUCH! What the? Ahhh yes, I remember. The stalks with the no-see-em prickly things that sting you and creepy crawl under your skin for two days. Man, I hate these things! It’s a good thing I can’t see you, cuz I’d put a beating on all of ya! Stupid things! What was God thinking when he dreamed up these little buggers? Refund please! And thank you.
Now, moving right along to the right, and, YEOWW! Rose bush! Holy Moly! Careful. Careful. Someone ought to outlaw grass from growing around rose bushes. I mean, really.
There. Clump free roses, just the way they were meant to be.
Oh, I almost forgot, and I can’t remember how to spell, rhodedendrom bush. Oh, thank you Mr. Spell Checker. Rhododendron bush. This is Lynne’s favorite. It must have huge buds coming along? I knew it did. It’s getting a lot bigger too. I remember the one I planted out front on the corner of the porch, years ago. It was doing so well, until the Miklos kid hopped off the step ladder beside it, and snapped it at the base. I almost cried. Oh well. I hope this one gets as big as that one was.
There ya go, weed free, just like when you was a little guy.
Now where to? Back around the other way? ok.
Ahhh yes, the carolinas. I almost forgot. How could I forget you guys though? Fifteen feet long, and four feet wide, and all from two little pots that we bought down the road from the lady that sells the corn. who knew you guys spread so much?
Now then, more grass clumps, and, hello! Yeoww! More of those stupid stinger plants. I really do hate these things, and they are hideous looking to boot. A perfect combination! Stupid things!
Ok, the carolinas are all cleaned out. They look ok? Good. Now then, around this big rock, and, hello blueberry bushes. All alone, out here on the end of the rock wall. How you guys doing? what? More prickly stinger thingies? Grrr. Lots of them, and lots of grass. Ahh yes, I remember this fern growing out of the wall too. Never seems to die, just keeps on ticking. Hello fern. Good bye fern. Hate to do it, but the blueberry bushes come first.
Wow, this bush on the end is getting big! I hope the rest of them get as big as you.
Ok then, finally reached the end of the wall. Sixty feet, all clump free. It’s a beautiful thing, right?
How does it look? Really good? Really?
You wouldn’t kid me, would you? Really? Aww, shucks. I bet you say that to all the grass clump weeder, puller guys.