Hello There Indian Summer
Woooo-Hooooo! I can hardly contain myself. I almost can’t handle my excitement. It is running on into the second week of October, and I have dug out my shorts and tank tops once again, and yes, I am barefoot.
. Take that Miss Autumn! I’ll show you a thing or two about a thing or two! You think you’re sooooooo smart with your frost, and turning of the leaves and chilly North West winds. I guess you’re not as clever as you thought you were after all. Serves you right, ending summer like that. Who do you think you are anyways. fall?
Every year, it’s the same old story, and I am getting tired of it. You sit there, along side Old Man Winter, laughing and smiling like everything’s going to be ok. I’ll give you “ok”, you old bag full of wind! I’ll show you where the leaves fall off the trees! You and that tired old frigid popsicle sitting beside you. Tell him that I’m coming for him next, the doddering old freeze pop!
Little missy Autumn, sitting there, all pretty. “Look at my pretty leaves, look at my pretty leaves everyone!!” She said with a sinister laugh.
Sure! We’ll all look at your magnificent colors, all scattered through the land. Oh my, how lovely the pretty colors are. Pretty colors my foot! You put them all out there on display for all of us to swoon over and wonder in the amazement that little miss perfect autumn has so generously given us, and then, BAM! They are all gone, and everything looks all dead! Every Year! Dead looking trees! They just stand there, all empty and stupid looking! That’s all that’s left! What the heck is wrong with you !? You think that’s funny? You get your jollies watching us all stand there, amazed at all the pretty colors, and then, here you go , Old Man Winter, have at it!
Have at it? That’s all you can say? Have at it?
Oh you thought you were so cool the other day last week when you threw that quick sleet storm at us. Little Miss cool down. Look at all the cute, little frozen people, running and grabbing their winter hats and coats. Isn’t it funny to see how everyone scatters for the thermal blankets. Oh how lovely, look at all the flannel, the checkers are just so lovely.
I got your thermal flannel right over here, you winter wanna be! I’ll see your sleet storm, and raise you an Indian summer, you old wind bag!
So here I sit, in my shorts and tank top, smiling from ear to ear. Can you see me smiling little missy? Do you notice the seventies that the needle on the thermometer is pointing to? You need to borrow my glasses? Twenty, twenty vision my foot. That’s right, those numbers on the thermometer start with a seven, and there’s another number after it, I think it’s a six or another seven, you whithering wrinkled up old foliage floozie!
I will hang on to the balmy breezy boys of summer for as long as I can. Until the cows come home, if that’s what it takes, and you can bet your bottom dollar that they are summer cows too! I am prepared! I am mentally ready for you, you dithering speck of a season! You poor excuse for a fall painting! And that old frozen fogey that’s sitting beside you, tell him that his days are numbered as well, wobbley old icicle!
My shovel is staying right where it is, and my ice grips for my boots too!
I have a good mind to just skip you both, altogether, and go straight through to Sister Spring. She never gives us grief like you two do. Why is that? Why can’t you two behave more like her anyway? Noooooooooooo. You guys have to be little miss all the attention, and old man all of the focus.
I tell you what, you guys just take a vacation, ok? Go and book some time on one of those ocean liner cruise ships, and just take a break, please! Go grab a cabin boy to set you up with a couple of lounge chairs up on the poop deck and leave us alone, and thank you very much! No one will notice. No one will care, and if they do, just tell them to get hold of me. I will be right here, waiting for them. They can’t miss me. I am right here, in plain sight. I’ll be the one wearing the shorts, and tank top. If they get close enough, and still don’t notice me, I’ll throw one of my sandals at them.